But my life is fine, so why am I feeling this way?

This thought is actually very common, but it can leave people feeling confused or even guilty about their emotions. You might notice thoughts such as: “I’ve got a great family and friends, so why can’t I just speak to them?”, “I’ve got a successful career and a roof over my head, what have I got to complain about?”, or “Other people have it so much worse, so why aren’t I coping better?”

It’s important to remember that our feelings don’t follow a checklist. Good circumstances don’t necessarily lead to positive emotions. You can have a stable job, supportive relationships, and no obvious crisis, and still feel low, anxious, or disconnected. This is because how we feel is influenced by a combination of factors, not just external circumstances.

You may have heard the phrase, “we are all in a storm but in different boats.” This became especially well known during the global pandemic, to describe how people can experience the same overall event, but in very different ways.

This idea also applies to mental health and wellbeing. While many of us experience emotional difficulties at some point, the impact can vary greatly depending on individual circumstances. Some people may have strong support networks, financial stability, and no previous mental health difficulties. Others may be facing isolation, financial stress, or a history of mental health challenges. The storm may be the same, but the experience of it is not equal.

Importantly, you don’t need everything in your life to be going “wrong” in order to struggle. Sometimes just one area feeling difficult or unsettled can affect your overall sense of wellbeing and leave you feeling overwhelmed.

So you might still be thinking, “My boat looks fine, so why am I struggling?”

Even when a boat looks steady from the outside, it can still need maintenance. Our mental and emotional wellbeing works in a similar way. Feeling low, anxious, or stuck doesn’t mean something has to be visibly wrong for support to be needed.